Kits and Shirts

This week I'm making cords and altar cloths with my mother in law! We're putting together sample kits that can be purchased since I'm going to be a vendor at the may day festival I'm going to. I'm so excited! I'm going to have kits for all sabbats and rites of passages but for the festival I'm only show casing an al tar kit and a handfasting kit. I think my mother in law and three friends are coming with me along with my husband and the bumble bee! It'll be so much fun to get together with people and celebrate such a beautiful ritual! If anyone reading this is interested in kits with rituals in them, let me know! Also, my brother in law's company (MCV) is designing shirts with pagan images and quotes on them for us- I'll post images when the mock ups are ready :) Take care and blessed be!

Finding myself and finding god(dess)

I'm feeling very self reflective right now so I thought I'd give you a little history about me and also how I found my faith! I mentioned before that I live with two mental illnesses, but didn't explain how the diagnosis has effected my life. I was going down a very scary road before, full of self harm, sex, drugs, and anything reckless I could do (shop lifting, spending sprees, etc). I was first diagnosed with borderline at nineteen after a suicide attempt while I was away in college. I spent a little over a week in a mental health hospital and then did out patient hospitalization after that. This didn't really help much, other than making me feel less crazy because now I could put a reason to some of my behaviors. The reason it didn't help was I still had an untreated chemical imbalance that I was later diagnosed with once I came back home and was sent to another hospital. Bipolar disorder runs in my family on my father's side and once they figure out that I had it things started making even more sense.  I went through a year of trig different Meds and doctors before we finally figured out what worked. My life is so much better now that I got the help I needed. If any of you have a problem, I strongly encourage you to seek help. But as for my faith, well it kind of just fell into my lap. I was thirteen when I first heard of a form of paganism called Wicca. I had been living with my dad and a girl at school brought a book about it. It really interested me so I did some research and a year later started seriously practicing. I was fourteen when I did my dedication to the goddess and it has positively influenced my life ever since. I was raised catholic and never once did I feel a connection to god, but a few months before my dedication I was doing a ritual and felt... It was almost like an out of body experience. And somehow I knew, it was god. Ever since then, even when my life was falling apart, it was the only thing that's ever totally made sense. That's my story of finding faith, what's yours? I'd love to hear what you have to say! Take care and blessed be!

Becoming a vendor?

So at the Beltaine festival I'm attending next month they're letting vendors show case their items an I'm trying to decide if I should make a mock up of a simple altar kit or handfasting kit to show and sell. I really want to start selling them so that people can use. Hmmm, I suppose I'll make a mock up and see how it goes :) also, if you are in the Houston area the ritual will be in Conroe and I can send you the info if you want to attend. Take care and blessed be!

May Day excitement

Sorry I've been absent these past few days- the bumble bee and I went to visit my grandparents in another state and I didn't have time to update. Beltaine (May Day) is coming up and I am very excited! I found a local pagan group to celebrate with, it'll be the first time I celebrate a holiday with a group of other people who share the same beliefs (other than when I do circle with K). Beltaine is a cross-quarter day, marking the midpoint in the Sun's progress between the spring equinox and summer solstice. It's a day to celebrate fertility ad that's where the may pole comes from. I'm very excited to take my family and celebrate with others. I hope it goes well! I think fertility rituals are very important to me because while my husband and I were trying to conceive I did a small circle with a fertility ritual and a month later we found out we were expecting! We tried for half a year to get pregnant and I feel like the Lord and Lady blessed us with our bumble bee when we were ready to have her. If anyone is trying to conceive and would like the fertility spell I used, just let me know :) Take care and blessed be!

Magickal Names

Many modern pagans choose a separate name to use during ritual. As sort of a name that only the Lord and Lady will know them as. WHen I was fourteen and did my dedication to the goddess, I chose the name Dierdre. It's Celtic for "young girl, one who rages, broken hearted". I was a very rage-full adolescent, which (I didn't know at the time) was attributed to my illness. I live with bipolar disorder type 1 with psychosis and borderline personality disorder. Since being diagnosed and treated my demeanor has changed, but I keep the name as a reminder. When my daughter was born I chose a name for her as well. I actually gave her two middle names, so that her pagan name could be a part of her legal name too. I chose for her, Lynnette. It's Welsh for "beautiful one". And that's what my daughter's life has been so far- beautiful. She brings out the best in those close to her, including myself. If you identify as pagan and have given yourself a name, please share it! I'd love to know :) Take care and blessed be!

Daily Devotion

I'm not sure where I got this daily devotion, but I've been using it since I was fourteen and thought I'd share it :) Blessed Be my feet, which walk the path of the Lord and Lady Blessed Be my knees, which kneel at the sacred altar, Blessed Be my heart, may it beat the drum of compassion, Blessed Be my lips, may they always speak the truth, Blessed Be my eyes, may they see the wisdom of the Spirit, May the love of the Lord and Lady be within and around me as I continue my journey through life this day. So Mote It Be  Take care and blessed be!

Paganism and catholicism :)

My husband and I have decided to raise our daughter (and future children) to know and practice both paganism and Catholicism. I worry that it might be confusing for them but he has been so supportive of my spirituality and I of his faith as well. He embraces us performing circles for the Sabbats and I encourage him to start regularly going to church (something he is dragging his feet about, actually). We've decided that once he starts going to church regularly, the whole family will attend. And that once a week we will also do rituals at home so that both faiths are equally represented. We want our children to understand that there are many different ways to love god and that no way is wrong, as long as it's not hurting anyone (and if ye harm none, do what ye will). We both feel that if our children learn to love god, then we have done a good job. And I use the name god when I mean the Lord and Lady. It's just easier and more socially acceptable to say "god" so I have gotten in the habit of it. and as for daily practice, he will say nightly prayers with the bumble bee while I do daily blessings. It's all very equal and I love that he understands how important my faith/spirituality is to me :) If you have any questions on us raising our family in both faiths, please feel free to comment. I'd love opinions too!

Handfasting

My husband is at work and the bumble bee is sleeping so I thought I'd share more about our life!  I met my husband in May of 2010 and six months later married him (November 11th). He is my best friend and I am lucky to have found such an amazing man. Usually what happens in my spirituality is a handfasting for a year and a day before the wedding. Well, we did it backwards! A year and a day after our wedding, we were handfasted. A handfasting is a binding of cords, each symbolizing a different aspect of the union. Examples would be strength or honor. My friend K, who is also the bumble bee's Mentor, performed the ritual in our backyard with our friends and family present. It was lovely and we had a party afterward, which I couldn't drink at since I was seven months pregnant. Next month will be two years since I've been with my husband and I have come to realize that marriage is very different than what I believed it would be. It's not all about romance 24/7, it's about driving around and missing your exit because you're laughing so hard, it's about holding your child for the first time, an it's about getting to have a sleep over with your best friend every night of the week. At least, that's what it's about to us. It can be difficult at times, but it's family. And that's what's important. I guess I've rambled on enough about my marriage, haha. If you have any questions about a handfasting or are thinking of having your own- let me know! I'm building a ready-made kit for purchase so people can have the cords, ritual, and other tools needed to perform their own ceremony. Take care and blessed be!

Getting Started!

I wanted to start a blog to talk about and discuss my faith and what it is like raising a family pagan (well, for the most part. My husband is catholic so we will also be practicing Catholicism with our children so they grow to understand both paths). To me paganism is this: an earth based religion centering on honoring both the Lord and Lady. I believe god has no gender, but that it is easier for us to think of god as we see ourselves- human. So we honor both male and female aspects of this being. The main focus is on the female counterpart since females are the bearer and giver of life. The Goddess has three stages: maiden, mother, and crone. I just started a new book of shadows (a journal of my journey through the pagan path that will be passed down to my children to read and understand as they grow older) because I just entered a new stage of life- motherhood. I gave birth to my daughter December 27, 2011 here in Houston. She weighed six pounds and two ounces and is the most amazing thing I have yet to do in my life. She challenges me to be a better person, to take care of my illness and become well, and shows me a type of love I never knew existed. She quite literally is my world and I love involving her in my spirituality. February 4, 2012 we celebrated my bumble bee's (a nick name I have given my daughter) saining. A saining (or paganing) is the ceremony of naming and presenting a child to the Lord and Lady. To promise to care for that child until he or she is able to do for themselves, and to ask them to protect the child from harm. The ritual itself was simple and beautiful. She looked absolutely precious in her dress and her Mentor (a pagan friend who has taken my bumble bee under his wing and will be her spiritual guide through this life) gave her a stuffed Teddy bear that was his for years. He had put his energy into it to protect her, a very sweet gesture. From us, her parents, we presented her with a pentacle necklace that had been purified with silvered water.  I think I'd like to start making kits for rites of passages and sabbats. I will eventually start selling them and can add in whatever the buyer would like to personalize them. They would include ritual tools and the rituals that my family (the mueller coven) uses in practice. If you would like to talk to me about them, you can contact us at TheMuellerCoven@ymail.com. I'd love to hear feedback here- questions, comments, concerns, etc! Feel free to let us know what you think and I will be updating here as frequently as I can. Take care and blessed be! :)